How to Love Yourself and Others

What is Unloving and How to Overcome It?

Recognizing Unloving

Many people do not know what an Unloving spirit is, but they see evidence of it in their own lives or relationships with others. In Matthew 22, Jesus told us the two greatest commandments were to love God, and to love ourselves and others. Loving God is usually not a problem if we are born again. The struggle often comes with the second commandment: to love others and ourselves. If we struggle to give or receive love in relationship to ourselves or others, that may indicate an Unloving spirit has joined us in our lives.

Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. Matthew 22: 23-40 KJV

An Unloving spirit often tempts us to not accept ourselves. It may cause shame and guilt to speak to us and tell us that we do not measure up. Unloving might even try to convince us to hate ourselves because we feel we can never do anything right. It could manifest with the constant need to punish ourselves for past sins and failures. Or perhaps we might feel separated from God and others and that we are the problem in these relationships. If these thoughts and feelings of blame are familiar, we may have agreed with an Unloving spirit.

Why does an Unloving spirit come, and what are its effects?

Often these spirits come to us when we have not been properly covered and protected in love in our past. They want us to internalize previous victimization and see ourselves as the source or problem. An Unloving spirit is an evil spirit that will resist you from receiving and accepting everything that Father God has done for us through Jesus Christ. It is the source of the thoughts, feelings, and impressions that try to cause a breach between God, ourselves, and others.

An Unloving spirit is also a possible spiritual root behind many diseases. The first major category of diseases that an Unloving spirit can contribute to is Autoimmune Disease. We see in diseases like Type 1 Diabetes, Lupus, Rheumatoid Arthritis, and Crohn’s that the immune system is attacking the body. God gave us our immune system to protect our bodies from real enemies and foreign invaders. But instead, with Autoimmune Disease, our immune system attacks the body. This is because our bodies are responders to how we think. So if we continue in thoughts that we do not love ourselves or receive God’s forgiveness, over time, the immune system picks up on our thinking and begins to attack the body. When we attack ourselves, our body does the same. Other diseases that may be affected by agreement with an Unloving spirit are certain types of cancers, certain types of cardiovascular disease, addictions, and even mental illness.

We are called to love

We are all called to love and accept ourselves and know we are forgiven. No matter who we are, we were created for love. We no longer need to be our own worst enemies; in fact, we should be our own best friends. We should be able to look at ourselves in the mirror and like what we see.

Unloving does not want us to give and receive love to others without fear—but love is the key to overcoming fear. Fear is cast out when we dwell in love because there is no fear in love. We must abide in love so that we no longer have torment from the Unloving spirit. We are all called to receive forgiveness and love from God, enjoy it, and give it to others in relationships.

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. I John 4:18 KJV

Getting free

To be delivered from Unloving, it is essential to recognize that we are not the problem—the Unloving spirit is the problem, and we are separate from it. This is excellent news because it means it is possible to be free from an Unloving spirit. We can repent for agreeing with this spirit and renounce it by making it our enemy. We are able to command it to leave and no longer have to have fellowship with it.

Next, we can choose to accept the truth of God’s Word and what He says about who we are in Him. For example, we were all created for love because we were made in His image, and He is love. So He created us with the ability to give and receive love. We can decide today—will we agree with His Word and what He has said about us or not agree?

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. Genesis 1:27 KJV

And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him. 1 John 4:16 KJV

He loves and accepts us

The Word of God also says the Heavenly Father loves us. We may believe this and see ourselves as God saw us when He created us before the foundation of the world. When we do this, we conform to the image of the Word concerning His love for us.

For the Father himself loveth you, because ye have loved me, and have believed that I came out from God. John 16:27 KJV

According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love: Ephesians 1:4 KJV

If we meditate upon Scriptures like these, they become part of us. It takes work, but the Holy Spirit can act upon His Word if we have it tucked away in our hearts. When we do this, we start to have the mind of Christ.

For who hath known the mind of the Lord, that he may instruct him? but we have the mind of Christ. 1 Corinthians 2:16 KJV

The Battle

It may take time to embrace what God’s Word says about us, but we must make it our standard. We must decide that if God said it, it is true! We can cast down every other voice as a liar; this is the battle for our lives. When we read our Bibles, we know which thoughts to cast down because we see they are not the truth. It is our choice of who we will believe—the truth of God’s Word or the enemy’s voice.

For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; 2 Corinthians 10:3-6 KJV

Fellowship with Others

If we want to be free from Unloving, we have to be in fellowship with other believers. Unloving spirits hate fellowship with others, so they tempt us to isolate and withdraw from others. But we must allow others around us to love and accept us. We have to believe in and trust that others will care for and love us, whether good or bad, today.

Over time, this will help us establish new memories and ways of thinking about ourselves. We need people in our lives who love us enough to come around and speak the truth to us and help us break down the walls of self-protection we have created. To get rid of an Unloving spirit, we need to fellowship with others.

Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching. Hebrews 10:25 KJV

How to Love Yourself and Others

We can rejoice because we do not have to continue to hate ourselves or be separated from the love of God and others. It is possible to identify Unloving today and make it our enemy! We may cast down thoughts contrary to His Word and see ourselves as He sees us. To Him, we are the apple of His eye.

He found him in a desert land, and in the waste howling wilderness; he led him about, he instructed him, he kept him as the apple of his eye. Deuteronomy 32:10 KJV

Learn how to overcome a spirit of Unloving and more at the For My Life® Retreat.

If Unloving seems to be a stronghold in your life, you may need the assistance of personal ministry and prayer. In the For My Life Retreat, we offer complete teaching on Unloving followed by a time of deliverance ministry so that you can be free from the bondage to these evil spirits.

Unloving is just one of over twenty teachings that we present in the For My Life Retreat. We also include eight discernment teachings and other foundational and doctrinal teachings that will help you establish your faith, rebuild relationships, and restore your life to health, peace, and sanity in Jesus Christ.

The For My Life Retreat is a safe place to take time out for your life and allow God to minister to your heart. Will you join us for this week-long intensive healing retreat? We look forward to coming alongside you in your Overcomers’ Journey.


The Be in Health Team


This article is part of the For My Life Sound Bite Series.

Check out these articles to learn more about the other teachings we offer and get more insights into spiritual discernment, the power of God’s love, and how He can heal you and help you become an overcomer!

Foundational Insights – This is the core foundational teaching that encompasses the heart and mission of the For My Life Retreat. On this foundation, the whole Retreat is built.

The Father’s Love – The number one most important thing for every person’s Overcomers’ Journey is to be restored to Father God’s Love. Without a relationship and trust with the Father, it is very difficult to move forward as an Overcomer.

8 Rs to Freedom – 8 steps to recognize and overcome the enemy’s influence in your life.

7 Steps to Sin – Discover the enemy’s strategy to lead you to sin and learn how to stop him at his game.

Godly Order – God has established an order of authority in His Kingdom. Discover how Godly Order will help restore you to peace in God and in your life.

Spirit World Realities – Learn how the enemy’s kingdom can operate in the earth and the Biblical origins of our spiritual enemy. This understanding will demystify Satan and his kingdom and help you defeat the fear of evil.

Separation – Learn how to recognize the enemy’s strategy to divide and destroy relationships and get smarter than him. You can recognize and hate the sin but still love the person just like God does for us.

Pathways of Thought – How can a spiritual kingdom influence our thoughts? Discover the pathway of thought from the spiritual through thoughts, feelings, and emotions to its effect on our physical health.

Disease Profiles – Discover the possible spiritual roots that can lead to specific disease classes.

Water Baptism– Water Baptism is one of the sacraments of our faith. Discover why Water Baptism is an essential step in your Overcomers’ Journey.

Blocks to Healing – The Bible tells us that there are certain things that we can agree with that will get in the way of healing. Learn how to recognize and overcome these spiritual blocks to healing. And discover the surprising #1 Block to Healing.

Self Pity – Dr. Henry W. Wright often said that Self Pity is the superglue to hell that binds us to our past and prevents us from moving forward in our future. Learn how to discern this evil spirit and overcome it in your life!

Accusation – Accusation is a tool that the enemy uses to twist the truth and lead us into bondage to sin. Learn how to recognize and overcome the spirit of accusation in your life.

Bitterness – Learn the seven steps of bitterness, including unforgiveness, anger, violence, and murder. With these insights, you will be able to defeat this stronghold and operate in God’s forgiveness and peace.

Envy and Jealousy – How envy and jealousy keep your eyes on the object of your desire to prevent you from trusting God and receiving His best for you.

Rejection – Learn how to overcome rejection in your life.

Occultism – Occultism may have slipped into your everyday life without you knowing it. Learn what is occultism and how to be free from it.

Addictions – Learn what the Bible says about overcoming addictions. God wants to help us be free, and receive our comfort and identity from Him.

Fear – Fear is something that most of us have had to face at some point in our lives. Discover where Fear comes from, how to recognize it, and how to overcome it!

Walk OutWe have the freedom to walk out of things that have once bound us. Learn what is walk out, why it is important, and how to do it.


Would you like to read some related articles about how to love yourself and others?

Learning to Love Myself:

How to Be Restored to the Father’s Love

Can Arthritis be Healed?





By Be in Health| 2023-08-22T09:53:19-05:00 February 16th, 2023|For My Life Series|0 Comments